What to do when….

These are questions that roll around in my head at all hours of the day or night.  The sad thing is there are not really any answers that will fix what is going on with my Mom.

  1.  What to do when Mom’s legs and feet are getting more swollen but she won’t keep her feet elevated like we all tell her to.
  2. What to do when Mom’s appetite is getting less and less.
  3. What to do when Mom and I sit now in silence because it’s just too much effort for her to talk much.
  4. What to do when Mom can’t even do up the snaps on her house dresses any more.
  5. What to do when Mom is taking more and more pain killers to help with the shortness of breath.
  6. What to do when Mom can hardly write her name anymore.
  7. What to do when Mom can’t figure out how to work the little recorder I gave her so she could record what she wants to say since she can no longer use the computer or write much.
  8. What to do  when  Mom is sleeping more and more.
  9. What to do when Mom says her heart is perfectly fine even though she is in palliative care for heart failure.
  10. What to do when Mom’s eyes are getting worse and worse.
  11. What to do when Mom says she doesn’t want to live any more.
  12. What to do when the cats are stressed and reacting to my stress because of Mom’s condition.
  13. What to do when Mom can hardly make it down the hall to go to the bathroom.
  14. What to do when Mom cries because she feels useless.
  15. What to do when Mom can’t remember her blood sugar reading in the morning anymore.  Today she told me she must have lost ONE marble ( just one) because she can’t remember her blood sugar readings anymore to tell me.  ( I record them every day).  I told her if I saw I stray marble rolling around I would tell her.  Mom at least hasn’t lost her sense of humor.
  16. What to do when Mom cries out in the night for Lorne ( her late husband) or her Mama.
  17. What to do when my brother is 2 hours away and doesn’t understand any of this.
  18. What to do when I don’t know what to do.

The only thing I can do is LOVE her to bits, LOVE her every moment of the day and night,  LOVE her in the good times and in the bad times,  LOVE her by keeping her as comfortable as possible,  LOVE her when the fear tries to rise above every thing else,  LOVE her by being with her as much as possible, LOVE her even when my bucket is empty ( cause then God’s LOVE will take over),  and put her in God’s hands.  That’s it.  That’s what to do when…….

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